WTF?

Have you ever been blind sided by an event or an action by a person, not an act of violence nor anything along those horrific lines, something much more simple. The notion that someone does not like me has always been a downfall of mine. No matter how tough of an exterior I put on it still hurts the feelings of the scared little child that resides inside my soul.

This feeling hurts when it is a general acquaintance, but it doubly stings when it is a family member that all of a sudden decides they don't like to be around you and would like to cut off contact with you and your family. And the salt gets rubbed in when you have no clue as too WTF led to this change.

Good god almighty....

I have been in some extreme amounts of pain over the past few days and tonight has been on of the worst since the beginning. To make matters worse, I have a cow down, and very few people on hand to help out. It is sad when suicide or selling all your animals and possibly giving up your way of life are your only two viable options.

I really can't continue like this.

Its been awhile.....

So, I have been experimenting with alternative sources of pain relief and have had some success. The only draw backs are morality and legality....I think you catch my drift.