Wednesday, June 2, 2010

No Answer.....

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that this RSDS/CRPS/PIMA(Pain in my ass) never has a solution or an answer. There is no specific treatment that works all the time and even if you are lucky enough to find something that grants you relief for an extended period of time, even it can become useless. It is a true struggle in the confines of ones own mind and that just adds to the cornucopia of stressors that already tax a overwhelmed system.

You have to battle every waking hour, you have to sacrifice that which you enjoy, that which you love, endure the anger and resentment of your loved ones that don't understand what is wrong, you lose your entire sense of humanity and feel as though you and a house plant are competing for "who's more important to the household" role only to realize that at least the plant filters and produces the air you inhale and exhale.

It is hard to reinvent oneself, to become something you are not accustom to or even remotely familiar with. You have to find solace in the battle, reason in the chaos. You have to define yourself, do not let the world around you define you.